To all my single ladies in their late twenties

Sitting on my couch, thinking, if I done well by having s*x with the same person again knowing that it would not go towards a relationship. Am I wasting my time? Do I need to focus on finding someone?

Sorry, but since when did I started thinking this way?! And what do you mean wasting your time?! Thank god I can see through my own bullshit and stopped myself from thinking this way really fast

‘Next’! Is what I would might say when I am around my girlfriends. We would drink a glass of wine, and maybe not a ‘next’, we might also cheers for the amazing evening, depending what I want from the person and how much I enjoyed it. But for sure we would have a good laugh and celebrate the moment. Anways I wouldn’t really overthink it but just enjoy it and live life.

Is it living in society? Living in a country where everyone gets married and you see babies everywhere? Is it because we are getting older and thinking that we have to find someone? Is it because friends around us are getting babies, having babies? Are our minds playing tricks on us? Do we feel pressured?

Funny, as a kid they teach you how life should be, how we all study something we think we like, because we are all way too young to choose what we want in life. To find someone you love, so you can settle down and start a family. I thought that I would be in that life as well. I was very close, being in two long relationships from the age of 17 till 23, I studied to become a physical education teacher, everything seemed to be how it should be.

My parents divorced when I was 18, and from then on I started to doubt everything that I was doing. I felt that everything was a lie, what do you mean marry young? That’s what my parents did, and look how that turned out. It woke me up, it shaked me, there are more ways to live your life and that’s when I started thinking.. Do I want this life or do I THINK I want this life? Conscious thinking..

So now I am here, living in Singapore, 28 years young, single, moved seferal times to different countries, travels the world as often as I can. I make sure I do something on a daily basis that I love to do, dancing, writing, photography, sports, reading, connection with people. Life is fantastic, I am happy, I still have shitty moments but they are a part of life.

But which guestions am I getting the most? Why are you single? Why are you not settling down? Why are you not starting your life? And how quickly people would advice you to go home if you feel unhappy, because if you choose this life over settling down you have to be happy all the time! Oh and btw, the when do I start my life question got aksed less freguently when I moved to Singapore and got a fulltime job..

So let me help you, I am single because I don’t know? I haven’t bumped into anyone yet that I feel is fantastic and we want to share our fantastics life together? Do I want to care? NO. Do I want to be happy? YES. But is that related to a relationship? NO.

And I know, life is fucking unfair, we women do have an age when we are in our fertile time and that will pass eventually. But you know what? I am not going to focus on that, I will continue being happy and do as much as I can to sustain that feeling besides the crap that we once in a while need to deal with as humans (sadness, anger, grieve etc).

Would I ever be a mom? Maybe, and maybe that would be fucking awesome, as I would see myself living in a mini van and move around as a nomad family. But maybe not, and I am for sure I will be a fucking awesome auntie who still travels the world but has a less high responsibility and can choose when I want a child around me or when I want to sleep.

We all get to a point when we start to overthink the situation. Am I doing it right? Everyone is in a relationship, what is wrong with me? Everyone has babies, do I need to make one now, can my body even do it? When you realise this, look yourself in the mirror and ask: ARE YOU MAD?

Ask yourself: Am I happy?